Dismemberment Magazine
U.S. Senate Passes "KK's Prayer Bill"

 

The issue of classroom prayer was resolved today when the U.S. Senate rattified the passage of the "KK's Prayer" Bill by a margin of 2-1.

"By choosing one form of religious prayer over another," Senator Bob Mathews (R-Utah)," discriminates against our students rights to pray to their own God. KK's prayer, however, draws it's basis from many differnt religious sources, thus unifying the faithful from many differnt faiths."

The Bill calls for the establishment of a common religious belief system to be instituted in all public schools by the 2004 school year.

President Bush stated in last week's radio address that he would sign the bill into law if it made it to his desk. "This is the prayer our children need at this time, "he stated.

Senator Gene Richards affirmed the overwhelming majory's stance by stating that KK's Prayer was the "only universal option on the talbe at this time".

Upon hearing the news of the bills passage, KK stated in a press conference, "Finally, those fucks in Washington listened to reason."

James Bourne added,"Now everyone can experiance the joy of worshiping KK and Doom in the ir own way."

 

United States Senate

"Now everyone can experiance the joy of worshiping KK and Doom.."

-James Bourne

[Front Page]-[Headlines]-[Buisness]-[Sports]-[Classifides]-[Letters]-[Magazine Information]
~Story Written By: A. Munch Posted Date:6-09-2001
[Front Page]-[Headlines]-[Buisness]-[Sports]-[Classifides]-[Letters]-[Magazine Information]

Our father,

Horrfied by our names

Thy sword thrust come

Thy victims run

On earth as it is in Hell.

Give us this day Our daily beaver

Blessed be our Kilts

and forgive those who wear pants

Lead us into temptation

And deliver us from pinwormitis

Amen

KK's Prayer