The Country Pantyhouse (East Rochester, New York) experienced another major catastrophe last week. A firestorm tore through the kitchen and spilled through the rest of the building within minutes. The explosion left many dead and injured, including the businesses' head cook, "Burning" Ted Upton, 39 who is currently in Rochester General Hospital.
"First the Pot Massacre a few years ago, and now this," Scott Assrip, 42, the owner of the Pantyhouse, said over and over again during a later interview, "We should of heeded their warnings."
Who could forget the 1997 Pot Massacre, when 2 disgruntled former -employees, James Bourne, 25, and Keith Macleod, 21, ransacked the establishment. The ensuing carnage performed by both Bourne and MacLeod left the building in ruins, many dead, and many questions unanswered. According to transcripts from their Insanity trial, Bourne snapped when Upton gave him "one too many burned pots to clean".
After further inspection, the East Rochester Fire Department had concluded that the fire started on top of the main stove. "The cause seems to stem from a pot of spaghetti sauce being left on the stove for a few hours, " Chief Burt Gross stated, "It seems that the cause had become so hot that it melted through the pot, spilling into the stove. How it ever become combustible is still under investigation."
When questioned on the possible cause of the explosion, Upton replied," Those bastards (MacLeod & Bourne) where right...you do have to stir the pot more than once an hour!!"
Assrip proposed a more sinister explanation for the Pantyhouse's recent incident, " It had to be the work of those two mother fuckers, KK & Doom!!"
When asked to comment on the subject, MacLeod and Bourne's replacements, Polish immigrants Vladik and Nikioli stated,"Vanta Sweep?"
MacLeod and Bourne where unavailable for comment.
"Those bastards where right...you do have to stir the pot..."
-Ted Upton